So my boyfriend and I broke up. Its been several days but I'm just coming to terms with whats happening. He's not being very nice at the moment and I am currently trying to find a nice place to live so I can try and pick up my peices and move on. He says he decided that he dosen't want to be in a relationship and he regrets missing out on things he got to do when he was single. He thought when we started dating starting a family is what he wanted but now he has changed his mind.

Its pretty heartbreaking after 2 years to find out that he just changed his mind. Its been creeping along for the last several months but I thought he would just come to his senses. I guess he did but not on the terms I was hoping for. I'm not thrilled, I am actually pretty depressed. But I have friends that are helping me so that's nice.

I have the memory capacity of a pea. I swear to god if you told me something right now in 3 minutes i would probably forget what it was you just said to me. I try and write everythign down so I won't forget important things but occasionally something slips through the cracks. Today it did and I feel like such an ass! I promised a client I would order him some checks because he needed them to pay some bills....last week on Friday. Here it is a new Friday and he comes in looking for them, not here because I forgot to order them. DAMN.

Last night was a productive evening on the Borean Tundra. I have become very good at the art of mob stealing. Since there are generally 10-15 people standing in the spot where said monster is waiting to be killed, I need to be the first to do so. /target mobname /cast earth shock macro works best. Speaking of combat. I recently made the switch from Resto which is what I have been since I turned 70 to enhancement in order to be more productive leveling. I have to say, I freakin love it! I'm not too happy about lava lash I thought that would be more fun but its a nice instant spell to throw into the rotation. I plan on doing all 130 quests in the tundra before leaving so that I don't have to come back and do them again for the achievement. Theres a lot of gold to be had, which is good, because learning professions has gone completely through the roof. I spent over 200g the second I landed in Valiant Keep just learning cooking and fishing.

my manager bought my dog some really cute christmas outfits!! Yes I dress my dog. Ones a little santa clause dress and the other is a little hat with a matching collar.

I got a thank you card this morning from the High School class that I went to speak to last week. Made my morning!

Stayed up until 330 am and got up at 630 to get ready for work. I'm zombiefied at the moment. will write more another time!

Its election day!

I feel torn about many things lately, I dont' think that who to choose for president should be one of them. But I am! I like each candidate for various reasons. I am usually strongly democratic. Maybe living in the south has changed my outlook on how I view things? Maybe my democratic candidate isn't as democratic as he thinks he is? Maybe I had the whole thing mixed up! Either way, I think the majority of the peoples votes are going to be on the person and not what he stands for. Which is wrong.

Election day is not a federal holiday, schools are closed because thats where many places hold elections. There is no reason for the bank to be closed today, stop calling.
My manager told me I could not come in late today so that I could vote before work. Shes not here right know, probably voting. Hoe.

After work I need to go to the gym, I've been skipping alot with the weather and the time change, I've just been tired. I need to buckle down and get back on the wagon!

Halfway through writing this blog I got a customer. He asked me if I was going to vote and I told him yes, he told me he couldn't vote because he had a criminal record. Then he proceeded to tell me that someone busted his mouth with a brick so he pulled out his shotgun...
Which candidate has tougher gun laws?

Fun weekend fun weekend. Friday I met up with the girl I had met on Craigslist. She was really nice, we went to a movie and to O'Charlies. OMG O'Charlies terakyi chicken is the BEST it was so yummy.
Saturday morning Tim and I got up at 6am to mount an attack on the Horde. Us and 38 other people got together and killed all 4 horde city leaders. Its the achievement "For the Alliance" and we were rewarded with a Black War Bear! What so unique about this? Well for one, they changed the level of the bosses to 80 to make it more difficult, so if you're thinking blah blah I've killed Thrall before, think again. He's harder and Carine is damn near impossible. Not to mention we are on a PvP server which means we had horde to worry about. All in all it was amazing, we won and I can't wait to do it again!! Also, 3 of our 4 leaders remain undefeated. They managed to kill the Exodar leader with 3 full 40 man raids, however it took several hours thanks to us. good times.
Saturday evening we went to a birthday party and cooked hotwings and hung out by the campfire and Sunday I went to a haunted house OOOOoooo!

This has been the most eventful weekend of my year lol. I had a great time.

Memo

"Please join us in congratulating (Me) who has accepted the position of Banking Network Branch Manager at our St Matthews Branch. She has served as a teller and is currently a Relationship Banker at our Pelion Branch. Her passion around client service and teamwork will be instrumental in her success at St Matthews.

Please help us congratulate (Me)! We wish you the very best in your new role!!"

WooHoo!!

I went out to meet my new branch yesterday, seem like a nice group. Very small branch, I thought Pelion was small, this takes the cake! Its quaint tho, I think I am going to like it and so far the people that I did meet were very friendly.

Big News, Big News!!
I hate when I have HUGE big larger than life news, that I can't share!!!! All I can say is that something very big is about to happen to me and its a very good thing but since its unofficial, I can't tell anyone yet! The second I know, I'll post. Promise.

Besides that, my sister left for VA this morning. Its bittersweet. I'm happy to restore order to my home and I am sad because I won't have my little sissy-poo to hang out with!!

You know I just now, like 3 seconds ago noticed that I can tag my entries? I'm doing that now.

This weekend was much fun! I went to the Riverbanks Zoo with my sister. We parked on the botanical garden side and rode the tram into the zoo. Spent the entire afternoon looking at animals and spending time together. It was nice. After the zoo we went to Fuddruckers and then went shoe shopping. All in all, a wonderful Sunday afternoon.

Today and for the rest of this week I have a trainee with me, Maggie. Shes sweet as ever and I can't wait for her to get going in this job because I think she will do really well with it. She's currently in the other room taking some online tests, which gives me a minute to update!

Tonight theres a dinner at the local High School that I'm going to attend. I wore my suit again and thus feel very important today!

I didn't watch the debate =O

I generally have a pretty good feel for the election but this year I have exactly zero interest in it. Instead I played World of Warcraft, halfway through the night I decided I would have been happier watching the debate. We were learning a new boss and basically just dying again and again. It wasn't that thrilling.

I decided to send Shannon an edible arrangement. I see the commercials all the time and I think it would be a neat "I'm thinking about you gift". Trying to think of something clever to put on the card.

I truly am a horrible conversationalist on the phone. I could talk and talk in person but seriously, on the phone I get toally distracted. I can't listen to someone I can't see, I think. I just want to walk around, clean up or do something other than sit there and talk. This poses a problem because my bestest friend lives in Arizona and the only communication we have really is via phone. I am going to send her flowers.

I met a man named Jessie Dukes today, isn't that a cool name? Sounds like a gangster! He's a very tall very nice looking man that sells used cars. I guess in the current situation its also a very hokey name for a used car salesman but its a neat name nontheless.

I am 90% sure nobody reads this blog, but if you trip across it and you know how to make a twitter feed on my page, can you leave me some instructions? That'd be wonderful, thanks.

Happy Banker Day! Thats what Vince calls it anyway, I get off at 2 on Wednesdays, I love it. After work I will be heading to game stop to pre-order my Wrath of the Lich King expansion for WoW this afternoon and then afterwards do a little shoe shopping. I love Banker Day!

I am eating a South Beach Diet protein bar, they really do fill you up for quite a while. I also like the Special K protein water for when I'm hungry but not starving, just to take the edge off. Paying attention to when and why I get hungry makes me realize sometimes I only eat because I'm bored or don't know what else to do. These 2 things have been my savior for the last couple weeks!

Today is the first day of our 4th quarter campaign at work. I have a whole new set of goals to meet in sales and I truly would like to make them all. Especially credit cards which seems to be the bane of my existence. My trainee starts back next Monday after being in class for a week and I really want to be a good inspiration to her!

At home things seem quiet. After our talk a couple of weeks ago, Timothy is either still thinking or has decided. I think I won't push him for a few more weeks for a straight answer. My sister is moving out on Monday of next week and I'll give him a couple of weeks after that and then I'll press him. Either way I am prepared for whatever his answer may be. I can move forward if necessary, I have chosen an apartment and if shannon moves out this way I will have a roomate. If he decides we should stay together I have some ground rules that need to be followed so as to never end up in this situation again. We'll see, we'll see.

I started a new workout at the gym this morning. Its called reverse something, basically you do all your normal exercises except you focus on the return position instead of pushing outward...if that makes sense. you lift the weight quickly then slowly return back. Its much more difficult that it sounded when he told me about it! I'm a little sore and I usually am not.
I also want to start a food journal, I haven't decided how exactly to go about it, I've tried the online ones in the past but I never keep them up, I think maybe i'll just get a written journal to keep in my purse and write it as it happens.

Its a gloomy Friday. At least its cool outside though. I wore my suit today. Mostly just to prove to myself I could pull it off. I got a lot of compliments so it made me feel better. Usually I put it on and wear it around the house a bit and then take it off. I don't know why it makes me feel fat. I needed to prove to myself i'm not fat after Wednesday being told that after all my hard work at the gym I gained 7 pounds and 3% body fat. Which is totally not true, how am I fitting into the suit that didn't fit before?! She measured wrong. Maybe next time she will measure right and i'll have lost twice the fat!

This weekend is serious house cleaning time. My sister is moving out in 10 days and I will have a little order back, now I will only have Timothy to clean up after and he's a whole house mess of his own. I also want to work on my quilt, I need to make the settings on my sewing machine right again tho because my stitches are too loose and you can see them when you pull on the fabric. Its really looking pretty however, I like the colors and pattern that we picked out. Mom will love it.

Today is my Life Force weigh in. I find out if I made my goal for the last 3 months, which was 10 pounds and some body fat. I'm 80% sure I have much less body fat but I don't feel like I lost the weight. Mostly because I've been strength training more than doing cardio/fat burning exercises. Either way, any improvement will make me happy and keep my work happy so they continue to pay for my insurance!

So today I am sending certified mail to all of the clients that showed up on my annual safe box audit. Throughout the year I have called these people again and again asking them to come in but they don't and I get in trouble. I hate it. HATE IT

I'm slowly losing my mind. Do I beat myself up about things, or am I being beaten up? I can't tell anymore. Every little comment, lack of a comment seems to mean more than what it probably does, or does it? I can't tell anymore.

Lately I've just been bummed out. I take no joy in other people. Maybe its my job, I love what I do when its for the better. Helping people out of a jam, giving advice where needed or providing a service my client truly needed. Its the ones that take advantage that disappoint. Day in and day out listening to people talk about how hard it is to manage finances is taking a toll on me. They come for advice but what they really want is a free ticket out, and IF you give that to them, they aren't grateful, they come back again and again with a new story and new reason.

Positive Thinking

I heard something today that while I think is clear to most people I realize working with people that are down on their luck or just can't seem to keep their heads up that this concept is not clear to everyone. It is that if you think positive thoughts and you act on them your life will remain positive and good things will happen.

I hear all day long, "I can't get a job because [insert well thought out reason here]" or "I just can't seem to stay on top because [insert reason to blame someone else here]." I can honstly say from expierence that if you are constantly thinking, this is how my life will remain becuase of [whatever reason] and I just have to deal with it, then that's exactly how it will stay, sucky.

The words that come out of your mouth and the actions that you take are a direct response from whats going on in your head. Think something positive, read something positive if you can't seem to get negative things off your mind or talk to someone that can get you out of your funk!
I use google as my home page and if you didn't know they recently changed it so you can customize what's on it when you log on. My page has quotes, jokes and advice. It gives me something to think about and talk about everyday. The point is, find some way to bring something positive into your mind as soon as you start your day.

Sorry for preaching guys but sometimes I just want to shake people and say to them "the only person doing this to you is YOU!"

17 pounds!

yesterday was my first weigh-in at curves and i lost some weight woo hoo, in addition i lost a total of 2.7% of my body fat and 4.5 inches all around. I'm impressed with myself, makes me want to keep going. omw to work, more later.

Deer Legs!

I brought bella to the vet today for her first visit. She needs her shots and I wanted to ask the vet if she maybe knew how old she was and possibly what breed she was. its obvious that she's a chihuahua but she really looks like maybe shes mixed with a min pin. The vet tells me she's a "deer legged" chihuahua, which I have never heard of. Anyway I got home and looked up this deer legged dog online and found many comments about how this is not an actual breed. I still think she looks like she's got a min pin in her. Either way, she's 4.5 lbs, happy and healthy. she's going back in sept for her second round of shots and to get spayed (she's really gonna love me after that one >< )

No Comment!

Some time ago I became concerned that I was somewhat boring. In an attempt to be more interesting I have been searching for ways to build conversation and overall social skills. I think it finally dawned on me what the problem is and honestly, this had never been a problem for me in the past. I have no opinion!

I read somewhere that you should read about things going on, form an opinion and talk about them with people. well, I read about all kinds of things and I can tell you all about them but for some reason I miss the part where I'm supposed to give my thoughts on the issue. For example, I was all proud of myself for watching the Democratic YouTube debate and was prepared to recite lines from what I had heard but my opinion on heathcare? gun laws? war? I don't have one. I don't know why, maybe i secretly don't care, mostly I think its because I don't want to conflict with anyone and I am starting to just be agreeable. WTF?! When did this girl take over my body? I've always been the first to tell people what I thought, give advice and often change peoples ideas but somewhere along the line i lost her. Shannon used to call me her buddah with hair and now when she calls me for advice...i got nothing.

So now that I have pinpointed just where my personality went, all I have to do is fix it. I need something to have an opinion on. lol. something not too heavy as i'm not quite prepared for resistance.

i'll get back to you.

Fear can't drive you as far as your will power can.

I have always had goals. I mean, who doesn't right? Its just, I always struggled trying to reach them. I always look like I am being successful, I'm good at appearing like I know exactly what I am doing. I have to tell you, nothing but pure fear had pushed me until one day I realized, people will keep you down if you don't fight it.

I stayed at my job because I was scared I wouldn't find better, I stayed with adam because I feared he was the best I'd ever have, life got to a point where I was about to never change anything for fear that something would crush down the little world I had built for myself. I never said it out loud before but the day I actually cracked was when I heard adam tell someone "stop talking to my wife, you might make her feel like she's worth something".

After that, I decided that nothing was going to stop me anymore and it hasn't. I have made myself proud. I will jump head first into anything, because I know I have the power to pull out if it wasn't the right place to jump. Fear will never keep me down again.