Friday, August 20, 2010

All in all the move to Arizona has gone pretty well so far. I've been here for a couple of weeks now and while I still haven't found a job, I do have lots of good prospects! My plan was to update and post photos while I drove out here, however, my super awesome phone was not being very super awesome and didn't want to stay online. So know this, it took three days to get here and it was a very pretty drive. If you are friends with me on facebook I posted some of my photos there.

While mom was still out here we took a little day trip to Tuscon and visited the Rooster Cogburn Ostrich Ranch. Which as corny as an ostrich ranch sounds, was super fun. We got to ride this big monster tractor thing while the guide talked about ostriches, the desert and all kinds of neat facts about both. I think the coolest part was feeding them grapefruit from a fishing pole, they are the weirdest looking animals! Afterwards we went to a restaurant called Jonathans Cork and actually ate ostrich! It was pretty good. Tasted like a very tender steak.

That day we also went to the Sonora Desert Museum. We took a night tour because its a little too hot during the day here right now. Its basically a big walking path through the desert that highlights the plants and animals seen there. There were zoo-like displays with common animals like the coyote, ocelot, mountain lion, and bears. I want to go back when its cooler because they have a hummingbird display.

I went hiking on South Mountain the other day, there are alot of places to hike and walk and run and take your dog here. Ginger is the happiest I have ever seen her. Shannon has a sheltie named Sundae that has become her new best friend/little sister. They get along great and its so much fun to watch them play.

So, overall Arizona is awesome so far.

Friday, August 13, 2010

How to be alone.

Ran across this today and it spoke volumes to me. How to be alone with myself was probably the biggest lesson I've learned in the last couple years. I've always struggled with being happy with myself, often times simply putting others before myself just so I had someone elses life to focus on. Living alone taught me to embrace my own talents, learn more about the way I think and the things I love. If you haven't embraced these things in yourself, take the time to. You will like who you meet.

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.