Social Awkwardness

I like to think that I have pretty good social skills. I never was much of a talker but as I got older I found out that people are generally more friendly when you can hold a decent conversation. Lots of practice later I think I have a pretty firm grasp on being social. However, there are moments in my life where I am just really not sure what to do. For example, a guy at a bar tried to kiss me a couple weeks ago. I don't want to be kissed and when I tried to lean away from him and he kept coming, my reaction was to headbutt him. Who does that? Me. Thats who. Here then, is a list of situations where I'm not sure what to do:

Door holding:

When you're going through a door and there is someone behind you, what is the appropriate distance they need to be before you don't have to hold the door for them? Too close and you're the jerk that didn't hold the door, too far and you're just standing there awkwardly waiting for them to enter. I've been on the receiving end of the too long holder, you feel like you need to walk faster or not turn down that hall you actually wanted to turn down because someones holding a door for you. Yes I actually did continue through a door simply for that reason.

I've actually adopted a door holding method that seems to work, basically, I walk through the door slowly and stretch my arm out behind me. That way it appears that I intended to hold the door and acknowledged there was a person behind me but I must be in a rush and didn't have time to wait.

Music and talking in the car:

I try to set the music in my car at a level where its nice to hear the music but still appropriate to talk. However, this doesn't always work because if there's a good song on I can't seem to focus on both. Turn the music down and then you're either going to be silent or you have to find a conversation. Turn it up and you've ruined any chance at a conversation. My sister remedies this by announcing what she's planning on doing with the radio then constantly asking if the music selection is ok, equally awkward. Also, the whole thing never works if your passenger doesn't like the same music. Everything about being in a car stresses me out, I don't want to have to think about this at all!

Hugs:

Hugs are always weird. I blame South Carolina for this. Before I moved to the south I had a nice little personal space bubble. It was the span of my arms, all the way around my body. Don't get that close to me unless you have been invited. When I moved down there I quickly learned that people were going to hug and touch you no matter what so I adapted. Since I didn't grow up hugging everyone it felt awkward, I never knew when it was appropriate since in my mind you only hugged people you love. I found myself hugging people when only a handshake was necessary. I still do that! I'm at a party, saying goodbye, I had a great time..should I hug the host? Handshakes aren't right....a wave goodbye maybe? Is that rude? I DON'T KNOW!

Long hallways:

In the past this hasn't been an issue, you only really experience this in like doctors offices and stuff. But I got a job where I have to walk all the way across a giant building to get to my desk, this means there are at least 4 long hallways. 4 chances for me to spend what feels like eternity walking towards a stranger. There are several ways that people avoid this but so far none of them feel normal to me.

Look at your cell phone. This is a great remedy because you can ignore everyone around you for your oh so important cell phone. The problem with this is that you look like a self important jerk. Nobody likes that guy.

Look at the ground. I don't know about you but when I walk my heads up and I look forward. You are obviously avoiding me by doing this and now not only are you awkward but so am I because I think maybe I looked unapproachable.

Eye Contact. This requires more tact than I'm familiar with. I usually end up making eye contact for far too long and appear to be gawking. Plus, if you make eye contact so as to acknowledge but then look away at nothing its so obvious it always just looks weird.

Conversation. I'm all about striking a conversation with a stranger but what are you going to talk about in the time that you have and when its is ok to start talking (distance wise) what if you speak too soon and then you have to say something else. OR what if there are TWO people now you have to speak to both of them "about about this weather?" to the first person and to the second person who clearly heard you speak to the guy ahead of him "long hallway right?"

And the absolute WORST part about long hallways: Someone in front of you walking the same speed as you. UGH! Now I have to walk slower so we aren't walking side by side or speed up and act like this is the indy car race to my desk.

Goodbyes:

Why do we have to say goodbye 100 times? This goes with hugging too, if you hug after a goodbye, don't say goodbye again because then you have to hug again and its a vicious cycle! Here's how a goodbye should go:

I had a great time, thanks (hug, handshake or wave or whatever else)

Goodbye

Goodbye

EXIT

done, you've said goodbye and you're on with the day.

Here's how a goodbye does go:

I had a great time, thanks.

bye!

hug-handshake-whatever

ok bye!

so see you later?

Yea maybe like Wednesday?

OK!

ok, well thanks again I had fun

me too!

Hug again not sure why

ok bye

bye!

Sometimes theres a couple more cycles of talking, hugs and goodbyes before you finally get out the door. Its weird.

However, I have no remedy for this at all. I usually end up leaving abruptly and skipping the goodbye altogether so as to not deal with it.

goodbye (close the page, don't say goodbye back or I'll be forced to say it again!)